Not a happy bunny

Oh well it was bound to happen sooner or later but I was rather hoping it would be much, much later.

Last night I suffered from palpitation. They weren't majorly bad but we're bad enough for me to be very aware of them without having to read the associated symptoms. So I'd say a 5 or 6 on the irregular heart beat scale.

I think it was down to stress and anxiety. I'd had a great day out with a good friend and was feeling good. Apart from a slight niggle. It's been officially 4 weeks since I'd started my anti-anxiety meds and I asked if people had noticed a difference in my behaviour. I thought it was best to do so as I've not noticed that much apart from the lows being not so low. What I hadn't noticed is that the highs aren't quite so high. Apparently I've not been the slightly hyper and manically happy person I occasionally become (yes it DOES happy) and it's been missed.

This is not good.

Probably a fair trade off but why can't they just make a pill that clips just the lows and not the highs too?

Anyway I went to bed with this niggling me a little but not overly and drifted off. Only to awake not once but twice to my old friend the driving anxiety dream.

My driving anxiety dream has several variations but they old revolve around a central theme of being in a vehicle and not being in control of it. I often wake up trying to find the handbrake either at the foot or the side of the bed. Sometimes it's a sudden start awake but mostly I'm in no-man's land between dream and waking conciousness. I'm still in the dream but my mind is slowly waking up in that dream. The end result is very disorientating as what I am seeing is incorporated into the dream - the red numbers on my clock radio are tail lights and so on. I have to struggle to overcome the dream state and finally wake up. Needless to say my heart races through all of this.

It was after the second dream when I had realised what it was and gathered my covers to get back to sleep when my heart decided to feel odd. I knew what was coming. A heart drum solo and them into atrial fibrillation...

Not fun, not fun at all. I did consider getting up to find my 'as and when' heart pills but I was so groggy from lack of sleep I stayed where I was and tried to sleep. Needless to say it didn't work too well and mI was well glad that today was a short day at work!

So what can I learn from this?

I shouldn't ask questions that the answers may worry me just before bedtime?

That I should keep my heart meds by the bed?

Maybe, but I'm not sure what those dreams were about. All I can think of is some of the things we talked about - old times and bad situations. Or maybe it's the stresses at work getting to me. Maybe it's swamp gas or reflections of Venus off a passing duck.

Who knows.

Al I want is a decent nights sleep!