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Thinking deeply?

I have that one down to a fine art! If anything I tend to think TOO deeply about things, especially things of a spiritual matter.

This makes my faith to be rather fluid at times as I question it constantly. The funny thing is that I tend to keep returning to the start - maybe everything IS circular. However my views and understanding is different from the previous times so maybe a spiral is a better metaphor. It just goes to show that my Priestess Hierophant knew what she was talking about and that I didn't really appreciate/understand it at the time. Oh well live and learn But one thing I know for certain that the next time I revisit this point I will look back at know and wonder at how little I actually knew!

Which is just as well as to actually know everything would be the death of me. To learn is my driving force forward.

It's such a pity that at times the knowledge gained drives me apart from other pagans. I've yet to find a group that I can work with to any great depth as I need to feel that I my thoughts, ideas and beliefs resonant with theirs (not 100% - I may be a perfectionist but I'm not stupid) - to do ritual where I was paying lip service is disrespectful to the gods, the group and me. Of course gracious declines to join in at public gatherings tend to be viewed as criticisms - are people that insecure? So its a solitary life for me with the odd, ritual-lite gathering thrown in.

I have thought of sucking up my views and just joining in but it's not right and in the end causes me stress and heart break.

Of course I am over thinking this but its hard not too when you are on the receiving end of religious intolerance - I can't recall how many times I've been told I'm doing things wrong. I'm not wrong, just doing things different to how you do them. I can accept your differences, why can't you do the same with mine? Is it because I'm in the minority? There was a time I recall that to be pagan was like that, but times have changed... Perhaps it's a sign that paganism is starting to become a collection of religions, each with codified belief systems and the dogma that comes with it. After all any movement that grows large enough will have leaders arise and people who will follow them.

Anyhows....

pulling this ship off of the rocks, let me return to the original point of this post - thinking deeply

And more importantly what I am going to think deeply about

Fey suggests the elements with a week for each one. That's all good and well but it's something I've already done in quite some detail. I suppose I can revisit them and dust off the conclusions I came to in the past.

I'll meditate on that one (yes I am meditating more these days - there's hope for me yet!)